Death and the Thief
by EdwardClone13
Summary: Murders and thefts are occuring in Central, and Edward and Roy are in the middle! Can they help solve this, or is one of them going to be next? Edward also holds a dark secret. Will it be revealed? Find out in 'Death and the Thief! T for now M maybe later
1. Prolouge

Um... hi! This is Jimmy, again. If you may or may not know, I am the creator of **Milk: The Source of All Evil**, which was a favorite oneshot of mine, and so far the only completed one. This is my second POSTED chapter story, and I hope it turns out as well on ink and paper(computer) as it does in my head, where everything makes sense. Anway, please review, good or bad. Even flames are welcome, because Zuko always needs a new type of toy to play with. ^_^ anyway, here is **Death and the Thief**(anyone with a better idea for a title please review/message it to me, because I was just watching Beauty and the Beast while rereading the first two chapters, again.)

* * *

In the dark of the night within the bowels of Central City, a tall, black-haired beauty had linked arms with a man twenty years her senior. They were talking animatedly as they walked down the shadowed street.

"Oh, General Hawkins!" She cooed. "Will we be there soon? I can't wait to see your... beautiful home!"

"Don't fret, my dear," he replied, patting her hand lightly. "We'll be there soon."

'My Dear' giggled . "Don't call me that, General! It makes me feel too old! Call me Misty, please!"

General Simon Hawkins smiled in a way he honestly thought was sexy. Misty Roland, in her completely accurate opinion, thought it was disgusting. Of course, her real name wasn't Misty Roland. She was Nobody. She knew where this ugly old fart lived, what he could do, how much money he earned every day, and how he used his power and wealth. This sick, twisted son of a bitch took young men between the ages of seven and twenty two from their homes and the streets, then pimped them for his own sick pleasure. He also sold the ones he had broken spiritually or was bored with into slavery or forced human labor through brokers. He wasn't taking her to his home to 'please' her. She had threatened to spill the beans on him if he didn't pay her 20 million sens to keep quiet.

Misty fingered the small knife that was strapped along the side of her thigh, ready to unleash its deadly edge at a moment's notice. She smiled in amusement as she noticed Hawkins perform a similar action, only with a gun under his dress shirt. At least they were on the same page, at least in her knowledge. The old soldier didn't have a clue.

After twenty more minutes of walking, they finally reached the dark, empty house that the general owned. Mrs. Hawkins was out for her own party night, and the other servants had been dismissed for the night, which fit perfectly with her plan. "So, General, are you going to escort me in?"

"Of course. Follow me, Dearest," He whispered charmingly as he kissed the young woman's hand. After doing so, he lead her into the large, tasteless building.

As soon as the door closed behind Misty, she twisted swiftly and delivered a bruising kick straight to the older man's genitalia. Hawkins's eyes bugged out and he collapsed, writhing on the floor. His hands were cupped around his Mini Me, trying to protect it from further harm. Misty lashed out again with a pointed heel that connected with his ribcage, knocking the breath out of his old lungs.

As the man gasped for breath, Misty easily dragged the larger man down the hall and into the spacious living room. She firmly tied him to a large armchair and turned it to face the door. "General Simon Hawkins, I am here to kill you," Misty said coldly as she pushed a large oak table from the far side of the room to rest in front of the trussed up old man. "You have wronged me in the worst way possible, and now you shall pay."

"How could I have wronged you, you freak?!" Hawkins spat as tears streamed down his face due to lack of air. "I've never seen you in my-" Misty interrupted him by pulling a thick file out of her surprisingly medium-sized handbag and shoved it in his face. Recognition dawned on his face before it turned purple with rage. "All of this for HIM?! Why you son of a-"

Misty silenced him with a swing of her razor-edged knife that neatly sliced through his voice box, properly silencing. "You not to speak of him with your filthy tongue, you nasty old man." Finally sickened by the man's sounds of his whistling breath and the blood as it bubbled in his exposed throat, she sliced clear through his esophagus and walked away. She left a pathetic old man to drown in his own blood. Two large manilla folders were carefully and lovingly placed where they would not be stained with the man's tainted blood. They were filled with information that owuld have publicly disgraced the general, were he still alive. She had gently rested a knife inside the far right folder before leaving.

Misty grinned triumphantly as she made her way home. Her loved one would be so proud of her! The mere thought of the man's tousled hair and piercing blue eyes sent her flying down a path of ecstasy.

The war against the wrong-doers had begun.

* * *

So, how did you like my little prologue? I know, it's really short, but I think the other chapters will be longer. At least, the second and third ones are. Seriously, review. Or else I'll send the cannibal gummy-bears after you! Even flames, if I get enough people to read it, that is.... T_T If you can, please distribute this amongst your friends if you think they'll like it! And check out my other stories! Thank you! *Bows*


	2. Chapter 1

Hi! It's Jimmy, with chapter 1 of **Death and the Thief**! Please review, no matter what you think of it! Anyway, back to the story! Sorry it's so late, but I've been so busy writing ahead that I forgot to post! Please don't hurt me!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the poor victims. Byes! ^_^

Warning: No yaoi. None whatsoever.

* * *

Edward was jolted awake by the violent, shrilling ring of his telephone. He grumbled angrily under his breath as he dragged out of bed and raced to the phone. "Damn my stupid brother Alphonse and his damn vacation to Resembool, damning me to the fate of answering the damn telephone..." He picked up the receiver and cheerfully said, "Hello! This is the dorm of Edward Elric! Who may be calling?"

"Fullmetal, it's Mustang. I have a mission for you."

Edward's cheerfulness, false or not, shriveled up and vanished as though a leaf in the wind. "... I hate you SO much right now, you bastard," Edward replied brusquely as he glanced at the clock. "It's only 6 AM, dammit! I need my sleep, even if you don't!"

"Fullmetal," Roy's tone was cold and serious. "This is important. The document is sealed with the Fuhrer's seal itself, and it has my name as well as your own. I know it's early for a semi-insomniac like you who sleeps during the day, but I need you to get down here, now."

"I'll be right there, sir," Edward replied soberly, reverting to 'loyal soldier' mode. "How long do I have?"

"Be here in ten minutes, Fullmetal." Roy hung up before Edward could answer or give any words of farewell.

"...Impatient bastard..." Edward muttered at the receiver in his hand before slamming it into its holder with more force than really necessary.

* * *

Edward panted heavily as he sprinted down the road into Central City Headquarters and up three flights of stairs. He slowed to a light jog to keep his legs from cramping as he weaved through the maze like halls and the large crowds of gossiping soldiers. He caught a snippet of conversation from a larger than normal group as he slowly weaseled his way to Roy's office.

"Did you guys here?!" A short chubby man with black hair asked excitedly. "General Hawkins was murdered last night in his own home!"

A tall skinny redheaded woman replied, "I know! It was in the newspaper and all over the radio this morning! Apparently, his throat was sliced open twice, one to silence, one to kill! How gruesome is that?!"

"I've heard a bunch of people are suspecting Colonel Mustang or one of his lackeys."

"Really?! Why?" A voluptuous bubbly blonde woman, barely a ranked soldier, asked.

"It seems like the General and Mustang didn't get along at all, and that he hired a bunch of guys to take Mustang out, but the killer found out and someone killed Hawkins to protect him! There was also a file with a knife left at the scene, so it's either someone protecting Mustang, someone AFTER Mustang, or Mustang himself." An older male brunett answered the younger blonde. "I don't think any of them would be so stupid as to draw that kind of attention to themselves like that."

The talkative fat one shrugged. "Well, I personally think that if it actually WAS one of Mustang's cronies, it's that Fullmetal Alchemist kid. He's the only one who doesn't have any experience in killing or keeping it a secret, and he's the only one who still uses primitive weapons like knives and swords. Besides, he hates Mustang's guts. He's probably trying to frame the Colonel for it."

"No way! That little creep!" The two women hissed in unison.

Edward missed the rest of the conversation as he rounded the last corner separating the teenager from his superior's office. He could feel the many watchful and accusing stares burning holes into his back as he walked to the door. He quickly ducked in, if merely to avoid those staring eyes.

The office was in a state of unnatural quiet The others were working silently and diligently, with naught a joke or sigh. No one offered him any form of greeting, not even to look up and actually acknowledged his presence. Edward instantly felt even more uncomfortable, for it was one thing for total strangers to think ill of him, but something completely different if his only friends did. _'The news of one of them even maybe being a killer could have shaken them up... But they were in Ishbal, or at least some of them, so...'_ Edward shook of these strange, depressing thoughts of his. _'They could all be suspecting me...'_The thought snuck its way around his mental barrier as he firmly knocked on the door to Roy's private office.

"Come in."

Edward quietly walked in and just as quietly closed the door behind him. "What is this about, Mustang?" Edward asked as he sat down in the chair across from Roy, who was still seated behind his desk. "I've gotten missions directly from the Fuhrer before, so how is this different?" He wanted to keep the mood lighter than it usually was, because he could feel the stretched nerves of everyone in the offices.

Roy's face was lax and emotionless, revealing nothing to the fellow alchemist. If he was harboring any thoughts of the murder or of the identity of the killer, he didn't show it. "I only read my half of the mission report, and it is fortunately not a call to war." Roy stood from his seat and reached over the desk to hand Edward a thick sheet of paper. "I am to help the investigation team by any means necessary and give them any information or resources in my possession. I will receive more information within the next couple of days. What about you?"

Edward had already finished reading the document when Roy asked him his question. "I am also to report to the investigation squad, but I have to stay with another soldier, 'for protection'."

"With who, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, sounding tense.

Edward raised an eyebrow, staying temporarily silent, trying to let Roy figure it out himself. When the silence stretched out long enough to be tense and awkward, the boy sighed. "Colonel, I have to live with you. Stupid."

The tense atmosphere broke when Roy snatched the paper from Edward's hand to read it himself. "Why the hell do I have to be on babysitting detail?!" He growled. "You can take care of yourself!!"

As Roy continued to rant about this outrage, Edward calmly watched him. The higher ups were more clever than Roy gave them credit for, for Edward had easily read between the lines and now understood his true orders:

If Roy was the murderer, kill him on the spot. If not, protect him with your own life, if necessary. He's worth more than you to us.

"So I guess this means I have to live with you, correct?" Edward asked, sounding mildly disgusted. Unbeknownst to Roy, it was disgust over his orders, not at the prospect of living with his superior. It couldn't be THAT bad, right?

Roy, misinterpreting the disgust, glared heatedly at Edward. "I don't like this any more than you do, Fullmetal, but I think I have enough room for a shrimp like you at my home. Your dorm room, on the other hand, I'm not too sure. I'm surprised it can fit a little kid like you."

A heartbeat later and all of the blood rose to Edward's head. A vein bulged out in the fifteen year old's forehead. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE, YOU BASTARD?!"

Roy smirked. "Well, it's obviously not me we're talking about, Fullmidget."

From the outside office, the rest of the group could easily feel the tense atmosphere lift as Edward began screaming obscenities. All of Roy's subordinates relaxed as one, with 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye the only physical exception. _'So everything is normal...'_ She thought with an inaudible sigh of relief. _'Thank goodness...'_

* * *

Maes Hughes cautiously stepped into the home of the late General Simon Hawkins. He eased into the living room and began looking around. As he looked though the books left on the bookshelf, he ran the few facts he knew through his mind.

_'Let's see... General Simon Hawkins, 49 years old, in the military since age sixteen, married Annie Hawkins at age 21. He had a whole lot of enemies from his days as a survival trainer for new recruits... New info reveals that he had a creepy thing for young boys, and had a whole lotta shit against Roy...'_ Hughes sighed before scratching his head in frustration. _'It could be one in a thousand people! There isn't enough evidence to pin this as even MURDER! No forced entry, no signs of a struggle... He could have done this to himself, wiped the blade in the second folder of prints and blood, and let himself bleed out, for cripes sake! And everyone's blaming it on Roy or one of the others...'_ Hughes decided to go talk to Roy about this. Maybe an offhand comment could shine even the dimmest of lights on this...

"You!" He barked, pointing at a new subordinate of his, a fresh recruit barely into adulthood. "Keep searching the place for any signs of anything else being tampered with! I'm going on a info-run."

"Yes, sir!" The boy replied, saluting sharply before continuing his job with renewed vigor.

Hughes exhaled loudly, not quite a sigh, as he turned and left once more. "This is really getting to me... I need a vacation."

* * *

"PLEASE tell me this isn't all you do every single fucking day!" Edward pleaded as he watched Roy sign paper after paper after paper! There was no end to them, and he was so freaking bored! He absolutely hated guard duty of any kind, especially when he was supposed to be 'guarded' by his 'superior' officer who was too busy with his normal work to pay any attention to the protectee.

Roy wearily and painfully set down his pen and began rubbing his sore, achy fingers. "I HATE this... Why did I let myself get sucked into a desk job?!" Roy moaned to himself before yawning something fierce. Apparently the adolescent was the only one bored to tears.

Edward sighed in mock-sympathy before standing and lifting the finished stack of paperwork and taking outside to Riza, who would deliver or have the work delivered. "How can you DO this every day?" He found himself asking her as she glared at the men around her, giving them some strange form of 'encouragement'. "These guys are easily proving themselves as people you do NOT want to work with."

After several complaints from the men around them, "That's not fair!" and "You don't have to do this all the time!" being most prominent, Riza allowed a small smile as she replied. "Oh, it's not as bad as you say, Edward. For example, I may not know what gets them through the day, but I tend to think of this as extra. Target. Practice." Her tone was a calm and emotionless as always, but the way she enunciated the end of her sentence sent all of the men started chuckling and sweating nervously.

Edward actually laughed! _'What an evil sadist, feeding off of others' pain!'_ Havoc thought evilly as he glared at the pubescent.

"I guess that would make this bore more enjoyable. I KNOW how to shoot and take care of a gun, but I never really have before, so you'll have to show me the finer points of shooting, since I'm stuck here for an indefinite period of time." Oh god, he was even beginning to speak more professionally! Someone, please check the temperature of hell for me, because it must have frozen over!

As the two blond(e)s conversed over two groups of paper, the small group of males, consisting of 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc, 2nd Lieutenant Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, and Master Sergeant Kain Fuery decided to hold an impromptu meeting about the future of their hides, but they were basically panicking.

"This is horrible!" Kain whimpered with tears in his eyes. "If Edward starts hanging out with Lt. Hawkeye, we're all doomed!"

"Well no shit, Sherlock!" Havoc glanced around the small huddle. "Listen to me. If the aforementioned action occurs, we'll either have two blond(e) robots or two tempermental ones on our hands, and neither is a good freakin idea! What we need is-" Havoc's next sentence caucht in his throat as he heard the sound of not one gun but TWO being cocked.

"You DO know that we can hear EVERY word you're saying, right?" That was their only warning before the shooting began. Eight bullets soon found their way past clothing and hair to dig themselves firmly into the wall. The older men dove for cover of the bullets that barely skimmed the air less than a hair's width away from where their heads and other limbs had been. They glanced over at the two blond(e)s with tears in their eyes. Edward was the more prominent figure, holding a rather LARGE handgun in one hand while Riza held her standard pistol in the opposite hand of the younger boy. Each man flung himself into his desk and began working furiously.

After several seconds of peaceful silence, Riza dropped all soldier-like additude and glomped Edward, squealing, "Oh, Edward, you're a natural! Not even **I** was that good a shot my first time! I am SO proud!" She went on and on until she realized that the rest of the room's inhabitants had fainted, minus her and Edward. Speaking of him, she glanced down and saw that his face was slowly becoming an unhealthy shade of blue and he was tugging weakly at her arms which were wound tightly around his neck. She immediately released him and backed up several steps, regaining her composure.

"These are for Colonel Mustang to sign, Major Elric. Please see to it that he works uninterrupted," She monotoned as she quickly shoved another stack of paper into his arms and pushed him into the inner office.

Edward found himself in the doorway of Roy's office with the door being slammed in his face, er, well, back. He hadn't had time to regain his breath, so he leaned heavily against the door and relearned the ability to breathe. When his breathing was no longer heavy pants, he could hear light snores originating from his superior officer's desk. He looked up and around the stack of paperwork and saw that Roy was asleep, seeming to be peaceful.

Edward sighed in what we would assume was irritation before a gentle smile graced his face, ruining our assumption. This was probably the only time that Roy could ever sleep so peacefully, knowing he was protected by his whole squadron. Edward may sometimes come off as a tempermental brat, but even he wasn't heartless. he took the paperwork to the small table in front of the leather couch and began to metticulously copy Roy's signature, after actually reading the document first. Just before he actually started, Edward's small smile became a fond, but slightly mischievous grin as Roy began muttering things about toasters and lasagna in his sleep. His automail hand perfectly copied the signature and began scribbling it over and over for the next several hours. He calmly set down a camera on the seat next to him, just in case.


	3. Chapter 2

Um, hi guys... Heheh.... Sorry for not updating for the few reviewers I have, but I am now, right? I've been too busy being lazy, letting people borrow my handwritten manuscript, if you could call it that, and reading other peoples' fanfictions... I'm sorry!

Edward: *Shakes head* Pathetic.

Me: Shut up! I don't own anything about FMA except the plot and new characters I have thrust upon its fragile universe, but if I did... *Grins evilly at Edward*

Edward: Don't even go there, psycho. Didn't you even say that you wouldn't do something like this last week?

Me: … So what?

* * *

Maes Hughes tried to calmly walk through the halls of Central Headquarters as he headed for Roy's office, but the small herds of people that cluttered said hallways would not allow him to pass easily, so he had to push and weave his way through each group of soldiers. The early morning's gossip still flowed from one person to another, causing the normally cheerful man to frown distastefully. Most of the gossip was false, of course, but as the saying goes, every lie has a small seed of truth to it. Roy's squad was a the top of a long line of suspects, simply due to the fact that one of them would have the most likely motive, seeing as the deceased general had hired a group of mercenaries to kill Roy. Edward was not at the top of the list, but unless someone was trying to incriminate the boy, no one could think of a reason why one the others would use a blade. Hughes knew deep in his gut that none of the known suspects had done it, and that it was someone unnoticed, but his superiors did not believe in a sixth sense.

A grin found its way to Hughes's lips when he finally spotted Roy's door. He didn't bother to knock as he entered the large office. "Hey guys, how is everyone?" He asked boisterously.

Havoc was the only one who bothered to respond verbally. "I'm doing ok, Lt. Colonel. I'm not sure about everyone else though." He set his pen down on his papers and massaged his fingers. "1st Lt. Hawkeye's been working us like dogs, though."

Hughes's grin grew wider. "Well, I have something that will make you feel better!"

The smoker's face paled. "I-It's ok Hughes, I'm fine, really!" He said hurriedly as the older man began fishing for something in the inside pocket of his jacket. "I don't need to see any pictures of Elysia!"

Hughes paused in his searching. "Are you sure?" He asked. "It's so sweet, it'll give you diabetes, and I mean the instantly fatal kind!"

Hawkeye coughed lightly as she shot Hughes a meaningful look. "I'm sure that the Colonel would not be happy if you inadvertedly killed one of his subordinates, sir, especially when we all have extra paperwork from yesterday to finish. Isn't that right, gentlemen?"

The other members of Roy's squad swallowed nervously as the agreed. No one wanted an angry Hawkeye on a Friday morning, especially if she has plans for the weekend. That's just asking to be shot.

"Well, if you're all sure, I'll just have to show you more later!" Hughes stated cheerfully as he walked to Roy's inner office, leaving them all to simmer in their misery. He closed the door behind him before turning to face Roy. "Hey Roy! How're-" He stopped himself when he spotted Roy. The man was snoring softly as he rested his head on his arms, drooling all over the polished oak wood of his desk. "Roy?" He asked, stepping closer to the desk.

Edward shushed him from his seat on the couch, which he had moved further to the left of the room, dragging the table with it. "You need to be quiet, Hughes. The bastard'll wake up if you keep that up."

The bespeckled man walked over to the black leather couch and raised an eyebrow at the state of the area. The boy was surrounded by piles of unsigned paperwork. Some of the stacks stood as high as Hughes himself. It almost made a paper prison around the boy, who was rubbing his left shoulder as if it were bothering him. "You do know that Hawkeye is going to kill you, along with him, when she finds out about this, right?

The blond genius grinned up at Hughes, unsettling the older man. "Well, I can always bribe her into not killing me."

Hughes's right eyebrow rose slightly. "And how exactly are you going to bribe Hawkeye, our prime example of logic and loyalty, into not killing you for forging Roy's name onto his paperwork, while he sleeps the day away?"

Edward's grin grew wider, even though the aforementioned action should not be possible, as the grin before was already splitting his face in half. "As you said, I shall bribe our prime example of logic and loyalty by giving her something she cannot refuse." Before Hughes could ask what, he held out a stack of photos for the man to take. "I don't think any of you know, but I was here for April Fool's Day, and I was able to get enough pictures of Roy as he became victim to all of the pranks I set up for him that if I had so chosen, I could have sold them all to the tabloids and made enough money to start up my own country. I think Hawkeye might like to have some of them as blackmail material, should the good Colonel slack off again without my permission. She may even keep them because they're just hilarious, even if it goes against her normal disposition."

Hughes looked through the pictures, a grin of his own growing with each one seen. He remembered each incident like it was yesterday. He also began to laugh, starting at a low chuckle and building up to loud guffaws. One picture in particular had Roy, either drunk out of his mind or asleep, wearing a pink frilly nightgown with a matching bonnet while cuddling with a large teddy bear and sucking his thumb. "How the hell did you get a picture of this?!" He asked between laughs.

"I slipped sleeping pills into his nightly drink of scotch and then alchemitized his pajamas into this. I actually heard that he had to take the day off to recover from the shock of waking up like that. It was the perfect payback for the time he had Alphonse dye my hair pink."

Neither noticed as Roy began to stir until the man sat up, somehow having a piece of paper stuck to his face, even though there was none on his desk. He rubbed one eye with the heel of his hand as he stared dazedly at Hughes, who had to lean against the wall for support. Edward stood up quickly and grabbed a stack of paperwork to return to Hawkeye, but the sight of the paper fully awakened the raven-haired man. He cursed loudly and tried to grab the paperwork from Edward, thinking that it was in need of being signed. In his haste, Roy grazed the corner of his desk with his left hip, lost his balance, and ran headlong into the smaller boy, sending them both into the largest stack of paperwork. This caused a domino effect which led to all of the paper collapsing onto them in a very large paper avalanche.

Riza heard the loud crash and sighed. She stood up, walked over to the door, opened it, and stared calmly at the comical sight lying before her. There was a giant mound of paper in the middle-left side of the room, where Roy's boot stuck out and was twitching. No trace of Edward could be seen, but the levelheaded blonde could clearly see Hughes, who was rolling on the floor and laughing his ass off. She turned to the rest of the group, who were each looking at her expectantly. "Fuery, please go and retrieve a first aid kit. As for the rest of you, there was another avalanche. Go and dig the Colonel and Edward out."

Havoc groaned loudly and hauled his lazy ass out of his strangely comfortable wooden chair. "This is the third avalanche this month! When is the Colonel gonna learn not to let the papers build up like that?!"

Breda rose from his chair, feeling similar sentiments. "Do you think the Colonel was asleep on the job like last time?"

Havoc snorted, seemingly amused by Breda's question. "No way. Not with the Chief in there. Ed would want Roy to suffer as much as he could. Now, c'mon, we've got some so-called 'superior' officers to rescue."

* * *

"Ow!" Edward hissed as he flinched away from Fuery, who was trying to dab one of the boy's cuts with a cotton ball soaked with rubbing alcohol. This particular cut ran across the bridge of the boy's nose, and was too large and too deep to be a paper cut, but no one for the life of them could figure out where the hell it came from. There were other such cuts on both Edward and Roy, who couldn't say where they came from either. It looked like someone threw a stray cat at them. Riza had left to gain new copies of paperwork that had been torn when the two highest ranked officers tried clawing their way out of the paper avalanche.

Roy was sitting at his desk, his battle wounds already taken care of. The only cuts he had suffered were ones on his hands, and one well-placed cut just under his ear. The younger blond was definitely worse off, and Roy felt no sympathy for him. "This is your own fault, you know," He said when Edward snarled at Fuery who nearly dabbed him in the eye with the wretched cotton ball of doom.

Edward turned and glared at him, the intensity of said glare having the power to rekilling dead people. "And how is YOU running into ME my fault?! I was just taking out read and signed paperwork to Hawkeye! YOU tripped over your own feet, ran into YOUR desk, and then ran into ME! That is NOT my fault!"

"If you hadn't been in such a hurry to get out of there when you oh so kindly woke me up, then I wouldn't have crashed into you trying to get more paperwork!"

Edward groaned loudly in aggravation. "Fine!" He spat, standing up and shooing Fuery away. "Let's see if I ever do anything nice for you ever again!" He stormed out, ripping band aids off as he went. Fuery followed him out, first-aid kit in tow.

"Fine!" Roy shouted back, slamming the door behind them.

Hughes pushed from the wall and stood straight. "You shouldn't have said anything," he scolded lightly. "He was being nice by letting you sleep. He thought you wouldn't be able to sleep as well at home."

Roy sighed. "I know, it's just..."

"You feel weird, knowing that the kid actually tried and SUCCEEDED, for the most part, to do something nice for you. So you had to ruin the moment.

"Exactly. I would never have imagined the brat I know doing something like that!" Roy sat in his desk chair. "It's too different."

Hughes sat down on the plushy leather couch. "Face it, Roy. He's growing up, and his childish outbursts are fewer than ever. You'll have to accept it sometime. Besides, you only ever see the kid at work. You may not know him as well as you think you do."

"When you say it like that, it almost makes me feel sad. Am I going senile in my metaphorical old age, Hughes?"

Hughes stood up to clap the man on the back. "Naw, you're just feeling that sad sense of time lost when you see your little boy growing up. It's a dad thing."

Roy swatted Hughes's hand away, scowling. "Well, now we know that YOU'RE crazy, Hughes, because that's definitely not possible."

Hughes opened his mouth to reply, but thought better of it and let it fall shut. He'd let Roy figure it out himself.

Suddenly, Riza opened the door and stuck her head in. "Lt. Colonel, there is a Sergeant Ambros here for you, and he is in a hurry. He needs you right away. The presence of Colonel Mustang has also been requested."

Hughes glanced back at Roy before exiting the office, an unusually grim look on the man's face. Roy was close behind, looking both serious and confused, if such a look was possible. They followed the flustered sergeant through the hallways and down several flights of stairs until they reached the first floor. "I'm sorry to drag you away from your work, Colonel Mustang, sir," The young man said nervously, "but the one who first stumbled upon the scene was Major Elric, and he said that he had been with you during the suspected time of murder."

"Who is the deceased?" Hughes asked, all business for once.

"It was Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Morris, sir." Ambros replied, seeming much more comfortable with the bespeckled man. "It was the same as the previous murder. There were two folders with information regarding the deceased, one of illegal doings, and another of personal plans against the Colonel Mustang, sir."

Roy was alarmed. _'Do I really have such bloodthirsty enemies? It's true that I'm generally disliked by the higher ups, but most ranked below me have nothing against me, so why?'_ Before Roy could verbalize any of his questions, they had already reached the office. They knew it was the right room due to the slowly congealing pool of blood on the floor and the large crowd of pale faces that was careful not to step into the blood. "Um, do you need to question me?" Roy asked his best friend.

Hughes shook his head. "We can do that after we search the crime scene. We'll also have to speak to Edward. His alibi isn't as solid as he thinks it may be. Go find him for me, ok?" He didn't bother waiting for an answer. Hughes walked into the room, followed closely by Sergeant Ambros, having to shove many curious and frightened people away from the entry to do so.

"I can't believe there's been another murder!" A young frizzy-haired readhead exclaimed, her freckled face pale as snow.

"I know! Even Central Headquarters isn't safe anymore!" A blonde woman, in her forties at least, replied with a hint of fear in her voice. "Do you know what happened?"

The young redhead nodded enthusiastically. "I heard that Major Edward Elric, you know, that short blond alchemist that works for Mustang, was the one who first discovered the body. He CLAIMS he had been running from Colonel Mustang's office and on his way to the cafeteria when he slipped in the puddle of blood and crashed into another officer, who then crashed into the door and broke it down! The lieutenant colonel was collapsed over his desk, and there was blood everywhere!"

The busty older blond winced as she traced the long skid mark on the floor with her eyes, where the blood was mostly a dark maroon with hints of dark crimson. "They must have hit it hard. The door was locked! Do you think he did it on purpose, to try and make an alibi??"

Roy had been silently standing behind the two gossiping women, trying to find a hint of Edward's whereabouts, but hearing that last remark caused anger to bubble up and mix with the strange sense of worry and overflow, coursing through his veins like burning ice. He stepped up and grabbed the redhead by the shoulder, roughly whirling her around to face him. "Where is Major Elric?!" He demanded, scaring the poor woman.

"H-he's in t-the infirmary, sir!" she stuttered, pointing down the hall to her left. "T-they're c-c-checking to see if he injured h-hims-self when he fell before they q-question him!"

Roy nodded to her before calmly turning to the rest of the people. "Alright, soldiers, there's nothing to see here. Keep walking before you're all court-martialed for impeding a military investigation! If anyone here has seen anything that the investigation team may not have, please tell one of the officers, in a calm, orderly fashion. If you are here to gossip, then leave!"

A few seconds later and the hallway was mostly clear, minus a few officers who actually had business in the area. Roy nodded in satisfaction before calmly walking to the infirmary.

* * *

"OWW!" Edward cried as he was actually poked in the eye with a cotton swab soaked in a generous amount of rubbing alcohol as he squirmed in his chair. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STICKING THAT DAMN THING, WOMAN!!" He clamped a hand over his watering eye.

"If you had stopped squirming, then it wouldn't have gotten into your eye, Mr. Elric!" The nurse tutted at him as she ran a hand through her mostly gray hair. "Come over here to the sink. We need to rinse it out."

Edward glared at her. "I can do it myself, thank you very much!"

The nurse glared right back. "Now, Mr. Elric, we need to rinse it out, and if you keep acting like this, I'll have to use drastic measures."

"There's nothing you can do to get me to let YOU wash MY sensitive eyes out when YOU'RE the one who so cruelly placed the damaging fluid there in the first place!" Edward scoffed, glaring at his fingernails.

"I'll call Colonel Roy Mustang, so HE can do it."

Edward froze. "You wouldn't DARE. You turn into an angry monster whenever he comes within hearing range!"

The nurse grinned evilly. "Try me."

Edward contemplated his choices: To let the evil nurse whom he had corrupted to rinse out his badly stinging eye out, or to let ROY MUSTANG, codename Bastard, do so instead. He immediately shot up and walked over to the nurse and the sink. "Rinse away, my dear lady."

"That's what I like to hear."

As soon as they had finished and Edward was forced back onto those weird table-things that sit in doctor's offices, Roy popped his head into the room. "Is Edward Elric in here?" the older man asked quietly.

If it was even possible, Edward's expression soured even more, until he looked as if he ate a lemon or something. "Well, of course I am, you bastard! After crashing into the hard head of a hardheaded enlisted soldier, is one not to go to the infirmary to recuperate?"

Roy frowned. "Don't get snarky with me, Fullmetal. I just wanted to see if you were alright!"

"Well, obviously, I am! You can leave now!" Edward glared at him with his newly bi-colored eyes.

Roy's eyes narrowed in response. "I don't need a little shrimp like you telling me if you're alright! You don't know the meaning of the word!"

The nurse sighed. "He's fine, Colonel Mustang," she stated as calmly as she could, "so please leave before I let him rip you to pieces."

"Fine! This is the thanks I get for worrying about my youngest subordinate?! What is the world coming to?!"

"Well, thanks for caring, you bastard! Happy now?"

"Ecstatic!" Roy shouted before slamming the door and stomping away. The force of the door hitting the doorframe caused the cabinets and their contents to rattle.

"... Is there some reason as to why you didn't start ranting when the Colonel insulted you, Mr. Elric?" The nurse asked, sounding confused and tired. "And is there a reason that you did not tell him of your stitches, or any of your old injuries?" She poked the left side of Edward's head none-to-gently.

Edward flinched away from the invading finger. "Watch where you stick that thing. And what's with all the questions? Don't you have something better to do?"

"Fine. Be that way." She muttered before opening a cabinet door and pulling out the rubbing alcohol. Again. Edward curled in on himself and hissed at the bottle.

* * *

As Edward was once again, for the third time that horrid day, forced to submit to the power of rubbing alcohol, Hughes was busy searching the office of one deceased Lieutenant Colonel Morris. He was currently studying the area around the body itself, searching for any type of clue he could find.

"Sir, the cause of death is due to blood loss and was found in the same condition as General Hawkins. There is also a folder containing detailed reports of illegal activities that the deceased indulged in. Do you wish to examine them now, or would you prefer having them sent to your office?" A young soldier asked as he saluted the higher ranked officer.

Hughes waved distractedly at the young master sergeant, his eyes not leaving the scene before them. "Send them to Schezka and tell her to copy them, along with the ones from last night."

"Yes sir!" The man said crisply, accompanied with another salute. He turned and raced out the office.

As Hughes studied the state of the room, he began to mutter to himself, which all in his team knew he did, but the man was always quiet enough that none of his mutterings could be overheard. "The windows are all locked..." He turned to the door. "The door had been locked, and there were no signs of tampering... Unless the murderer purposely had someone break the door down, to HIDE any signs of tampering... But that would mean that Edward would be the murderer, because the soldier whom he had crashed into didn't have any connection to the deceased... But we have no proof that it was Edward, but even then..."

"Sir, we've found something!"

"What?!" Hughes looked up from his inner musings and strode over to the evidence team. "What did you find?"

"We found a strand of blond hair caught in the hand of the deceased, sir! We're sending it to the lab immediately!"

"Very good! You're learning well!" Hughes said, beaming excitedly. "But is there anyone that Lt. Colonel Morris knew that had long blond hair?"

The younger man, new to the team, shrugged. "We don't have that information yet, sir, but we do know that no one in his family or outside of his workplace did this. They all have alibis for work and such. If we go with people he knew, then it had to be someone in the military. They were the only ones without alibis." Hughes stood there, mouth agape, causing the soldier to swallow nervously. "Um, am I wrong, sir?

"You're a genius!" Hughes said, before hugging the boy tightly. "Where have you been during all those other difficult cases?! Next thing I know, you'll find a way to identify people individually by something that's really hard to see!!"

"Well, actually, sir, there is a way to-"

"Later, 1st Lt! Right now, we need some witnesses! Let's go!"

"But Lt. Colonel Hughes!!" The man trailed off, sighing. "If he won't listen, then who would believe me about identifying people with fingerprints?" He sighed in a depressed manner.

* * *

Edward re-entered Roy's office, sporting bright yellow band aids with cute little smiley faces and a small amount of stitches just above his left eyebrow, where they were almost unnoticeable. Riza looked up from her paperwork and nodded to him. "Good afternoon Edward. How was your trip to the nurse? Do you have any injuries we should know about?"

Havoc and Breda began to snicker at the ridiculous state the normally prideful Edward was in. They were silenced when they felt the evil deadly glare of the Devil himself hang over their semi-innocent souls. They fearfully raised their eyes to meet young Edward's, but the cute little band aids ruined the effects of the teen's magnificent glare. They burst into a fit of manly giggles, if such a thing existed, causing Edward's blood to visibly boil over. He stomped into Roy's office and slammed the door.

Fuery looked over at the rest of the squadron with a sad, guilty look on his face. "You don't think he's upset because I did a bad job trying to patch him up, do you?"

"I don't believe so," Riza replied, watching the door slowly open a crack with an intent look on her face. "I think Edward is upset about the rubbing alcohol and the band aids, so I wouldn't worry about the job you did."

"Wow. You know, it's really hard to tell, but the Chief can be such a baby." Havoc said, resting his chin in his hand.

Suddenly, a book flew out of Roy's office and nailed Havoc directly between the eyes, sending the blond into la-la land. A few moments later, a band aid-less Edward calmly walked into the room and picked up the thick mystery novel. "I seem to have upset Roy," he stated offhandedly at the rest of the crew before ducking back into the private office.

Everyone sat in a long, stretched out period of confused silence. All minus Riza and Havoc jumped when Falman broke said silence, stating, "I believe that was the worst excuse I have ever heard in my life."

Breda and Fuery nodded before continuing to sign the last spurts of their paperwork. Riza could not agree with the rest of the squadron, especially since she had worked with Roy Mustang longer than the rest had. She also started to finish her paperwork, leaving poor Jean Havoc to lie unconscious on the floor.

* * *

No One sat at her desk, filling out tedious amounts of paperwork. Nobody was too busy in her dream world to control their shared body properly, so No One easily took over for her. It knew just how to act to keep anyone from suspecting that it actually wasn't Nobody, even though No One existed long before Nobody. They seemed to forget that sometimes, since Nobody had to keep control of the body most of the time. No One mentally smiled as the thought of Alexander Morris came to mind. It thanked god that that pig-headed man was finally dead. _'He was such a fucking prick.'_ It thought spitefully, even as its grin widened. _"Smuggling drugs into the country would only lead to more misery and pain for the people. Besides, trying to simply get Roy addicted to them wasn't bad enough. Now, General Hawkins was more on the right track, having him murdered, but still…'_

Nobody perked up at the mention of the infamously handsome Roy Mustang, her 'one true love'. No One wanted to throw up. It shushed her before Nobody could say a word. This was No One's time for some action. It thought about Roy, making sure to keep its thoughts private, and only to itself. _'That evil little jackass!!'_ It grumbled angrily. _"How DARE he dump her! Does he even know what happened?! Of course not, all he cares about is having short-term relationships. He's afraid of commitment! But don't worry, my precious little angel, he'll soon pay. I have everything planned, and not even Nobody will get in the way. She doesn't know a thing. This is MY time to show up that bastard as I make him suffer…'_Roy gleefully placed the last signed piece of paperwork in his 'done' pile. He stretched his arms over his head and worked out the kinks in his neck and shoulders. He glanced at the clock resting on his wall. "Finally! It's time to go home!!" He cheered, standing up and stretching some more. Roy grabbed his black trench coat from its resting place on the coat hanger and put it on. "Fullmetal, time to go," He called behind him. When there was no answer, he turned to the couch, wondering what the holdup was.

Edward was sound asleep on the soft leather couch that lay in the center of Roy's office. He had his new mystery book resting over his face, which he had been reading through the last half of the day. After everything that had occurred that morning, Roy was not surprised the boy had fallen asleep. The pages fluttered lightly as Edward slept, the only visible sign that he had not smothered himself in his sleep.

Roy walked over to the boy, leaned over so that his lips ghosted over the teen's ear, and whispered, "Wakey wakey, Fullmetal," into aforementioned ear, smirking as Edward turned onto his side and buried his head into the soft couch cushions. "C'mon Fullmetal, we have to leave. I don't want to stay here over the weekend," he said, stretching an arm out to poke Edward in the side.

Roy couldn't really explain what happened next. All he knew was one moment he was about to poke the dead-asleep Edward in the side, but in the next he was pinned against the floor by Edward with five sharp objects digging into his arm through his thick uniform sleeve and even thicker overcoat and an automail blade resting lightly against his jugular. He tried to force Edward off of him, but the boy's grip was too strong to break from the position Roy was in.

A moment later was when Edward woke up. He blinked slowly as he took in the scene before him. When his brain woke up, he jumped away from the man and dealchemitized his automail, somehow not cutting the man's throat in the process. He flexed each finger on his left hand before helping Roy to his feet. "Holy shit, Mustang! What the hell did you do?!"

"What the hell did I do?! I'm the one who should be asking you that!" Roy replied, running a slightly shaking hand over his throat. He hadn't felt a brush of death like that in years, and he remembered why he hated it. His left arm was also stinging painfully.

Before the boy could reply, Edward's ear visibly twitched towards Roy, catching the subtle sound of something dripping onto the wood floor of the office. "…Do you hear something similar to a leaking faucet?" He asked instead, looking around, trying to locate the cause of the sound.

Roy glanced down at his left arm and spotted blood running down his fingers to drop to the floor. His eyes widened and he latched onto Edward's left arm, examining it intently. Even though his fingers were bloody, there was nothing on Edward's hands that would have been able to pierce through his clothing and cut that deeply into his flesh. "How the hell did you do this?!" He asked, pulling back his sleeves to reveal five puncture wounds in his wrist, each about a quarter of an inch deep.

Edward stared at each injury with an unreadable look on his face before he shrugged helplessly. "I honestly have no idea, Mustang. I know that if I'm asleep and someone tries to wake me up, things can go badly. I've even sent someone to the hospital before. I guess I should've warned you…"

Roy stared at Edward, a doubtful look on his face. He'd been working with the boy long enough to know when the boy was lying. He let it slide, for now, but he wouldn't allow the time they were forced to spend together go to waste. One of these days, he'll drag the truth out of the boy, if it comes to that.

Edward had already grabbed the first aid kit that Fuery had left in the room and impatiently tugged on Roy's arm. "Come here, Mustang. Let me fix you up."

Roy stayed silent as Edward expertly cleaned and bandaged the injuries. When he was finished, he packed up the unused supplies before pulling Roy to his feet. "Let's go Colonel. We'd better get you home."

Roy raised an eyebrow as they stood. Of course he was still suspicious of the boy. "…Don't you have to come with me?"

Edward nodded. "I may have to come with you, but it's not my home, right? So I'm not going to call it that."

They left the room in a relative silence, speaking only to bid the squadron, who were also leaving. When they reached the cold night air, Roy decided to break the silence. "So, where is Alphonse, anyway? Was he spending the day in the library, and is going to meet up with us at my house?"

"Al's in Resembool right now," Edward replied dejectedly. "He's learning how to keep better care of automail, since I don't know as much as Winry wants me to. He's coming back to Central at the end of the month."

Roy calculated the dates in his head. "But that's not for another two weeks! Have you ever been separated that long before?"

Edward's expression became almost depressed. "Yeah. When I was five, we ended up separated for almost seven months. That was probably the worst period of time in my life."

Genuine curiosity bloomed on Roy's face. "Why? What happened?" He asked.

Edward's face twisted into a mask of world-weariness and anger and he glared at Roy. He gritted his teeth, but he refused to answer.

The raven-haired man looked down at the teenager before him. He had to admit that Edward's silence awoke his natural need and want for all knowledge he could gain. "You can tell me, Fullmetal. It can't be that horrible compared to everything else you've been forced to endure."

Edward gave Roy another irritated look. "I think we've had enough of twenty questions for today, Colonel. Why don't we just have a normal conversation where you ask me about my emotional well-being, I reply positively, and it goes on from there?"

Roy willingly backed off. He guessed Edward didn't really want to talk about it. _'I certainly want to though...'_ He thought with a sigh.

After twenty more minutes of walking and talking, the two reached Roy's house, which was more of a mansion, in Edward's standards. Roy walked up the walkway, unlocking and opening the door. He waved Edward in before shutting the door behind them both. "Do you need a bucket?" He teased as Edward looked around, awed and completely and utterly impressed.

The room was simplistic and homey, but everything had a quality to it that spoke of how well-made everything was. The floor was made of wood that was stained a dark mahogany, with a high gloss that reflected the light. The chairs and couch each had dark wood frames with plushy black leather cushions and were easily identified as the twins of the couch in Roy's office. Along the eastern and northern walls stood two bookshelves, stocked full with alchemy, mystery, and horror books, but with a few history ones thrown in for a little more variety. There was even a fireplace along the southern wall. Edward was currently glued to the bookshelf along the eastern wall, which rested to the right of the doorway.

Roy shrugged off his coat and hung it in the closet further down the hallway, where a half wall with a space to walk through separated the doorway from the living room itself, where Edward was exploring. "Do you need a spare change of clothes for the night?" He asked the younger boy, waking him from his reverie.

"Lt. Hawkeye said that she had someone bring my stuff over. When you called this morning, I actually assumed it was a call to war, so I had already packed all of my stuff and left it by my door. She said that he had left my suitcase just inside the doorway, next to your shoes." Edward replied, not even bothering to tear his eyes away from Roy's impressive collection of books.

"At least take your coat and hang it up. It's not cold enough to need to wear it."

Edward hesitated before reluctantly turning from the bookshelf and walked to the closet, where Roy was pulling off his boots. The teenager removed his nondescript forest green jacket and hung it up next to Roy's black coat. Roy eyed the jacket with surprise. "What happened to your regular jacket, Fullmetal?"

Edward waved vacantly at his suitcase. "I did laundry last night."

Roy smirked. "I would have pinned you as someone who would use alchemy for just about everything."

Edward rolled his eyes as he made his way back to the bookshelf. "I only use alchemy to repair the things I've broken or torn that I can't fix myself. I was taught to only use alchemy when you can't use your own two hands to repair it." The 15-year-old smirked at the irony of his statement. "But, then again, I guess I should be using alchemy for everything, if we were being literal."

Roy watched his boy with growing confusion. _'It seems as though I don't know him quite as well as I thought I did...'_ Out loud, he replied, "You must have had a very wise teacher."

Edward reply was thoughtful. "I guess you're right. It seems that, sometimes, the wisest of mankind was once the greatest of mankind's fools."

Roy stood in silence, contemplating Edward's statement, before his stomach decided to grumble in complaint. "Sorry to rain on your philosophical parade, but I'm hungry. What do you want to eat?"

Edward's stomach decided to voice its opinion with an angry roar. He turned to Roy and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "I'll take just about anything that's not milk. You should know me well enough to figure that out on your own."

* * *

Roy chuckled before walking into the kitchen. _'It's as he said. Sometimes I know him all too well…'_ He opened his refrigerator and began to scavenge for an edible meal.

* * *

Nobody slowly followed her next target down the darkening streets of the slums. Her prey for the evening was young Michele Kaolin, barely in her twenties and already with child. Nobody shook her pale head in disgust. _'This bitch isn't getting off as easily as the other two did…'_ No One grumbled from the back of their shared brain space.

Michele held a hand over her bulging stomach contently as she went to visit her mother. She took a left and came to the banks of Central River that lazily made its way through the pretty landscape that lie next to the eyesore of a bunches of houses, one of the buildings was where she used to live.

Nobody spotted the river and grinned maliciously. "This is perfect," She purred, pulling a knife out of its sheath that was strapped to the side of her thigh. She quickened her pace and tackled the pregnant woman, cutting into her inflated stomach, creating large, deep cuts to appear. They both fell into the river's calm waters, both screaming. One scream was one of terror and pain, while the other one was a hate-felt battle cry.

* * *

Well, this is all I got for now! I hope it'll tide you few readers over for now. I just need to start typing again. ^_^'' Not fond of typing... ANYWAY, please review! Any reviews are welcome, and if I get a flame, I'll consider myself lucky, for the moment. If my story gets around enough for people to want to diss it, then that means its spreading!! YAY ME! Loves! I'll see you after my adventure to Colorado!!!


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